Hey, Look Me Over!!!!

by "Buzzin" Lee Hartgrave on December 10, 2004

NewPlays, Great New Years Entertainment- And ‘Grease’ In 2005.

Maybe the big event at the end of the year is the arrival of the hit New York Play “Take Me Out” – a story about a baseball player (who comes out) and the boy who falls in love with him. And you thought the “steroid” thing was controversial. Here’s a sample of some of the dynamic dialog. Darren, the Baseball player: “Ya know what it is Kippy? They think my secrets out. You think you know me? You think you know my secret? KIPPY: “What is your secret? You said you have a secret.”

DARREN.”I don’t have a secret, Kippy. I AM A SECRET. I’m sick of baseball. I WANT OUT.”

If those words from playwright Richard Greenberg don’t warm you up for a hit right over the fence into the bay – then a story about sports – and a young man who is riding a tight rope may not be something for your catchers’ mitt. This same story may be playing daily at your favorite ballpark. Take Me Out was honored on Broadway with a Tony for best play in 2003 on Broadway. Coming in the next issue, I will have an interview with the boy who falls in love with the baseball player. Now playing at the Curran Theater.

Here’s a laugh a minute New Years Eve Blowout with Scott Capurro at the funky Victoria Theatre in the city. Capurro, no stranger to San Franciscans is not only a stand up comic, he is also an actor, playwright and author. His film credits include Star Wars; Phantom Menace, playing one head of a two-headed monster; Mrs. Doubtfire, playing a homosexual. He’s also chased gay sheep with British television around Montana. “Scott Capurro “Erect on New Years!” .Also on the stage with Capurro — KITTEN ON THE KEYS!

Now we are actually in the New Year with the U.S. Premiere of Steve Galluccio’s Comedy “Mambo Italiano” (Jan.22). Mambo Italiano was first a hit stage play, and then it became a film. The story is a heartwarming tale about a young man – who comes out of the closet to his very vocal Italian family. Hysteria abounds with lots of hand motions. Angelo has a hot affair with a childhood buddy. His parents come up with many schemes that they think will turn him “straight”. What a mess for poor Angelo. George Maguire will direct the comedy at The New Conservatory Theater.
Also in the New Year – the nostalgic “Grease” will be on the stage of the Orpheum. What’s not to like about the show. It’s 50’s innocence when every teen drove at 55 chevy. And the girls all had big hair. The tough ones chewed gum. Love the song “Beauty Shop Dropout”. See you there.

CELEBS TALK’N!!!! ‘Jamie Lee Curtis and Jim Carry admit their pill-popping past’ shouts a headline. A Celeb quips – “Maybe they should become Baseball Players.”

Another headline: Sir Elton john wears over $9 Million Worth of Rings! A wag adds this.”Gee, isn’t that more than the Pope?”

ASHTON drives a Gas guzzling new international CXT 7300-a souped-up version of a dump truck, with a 70-gallon diesel tank. It costs at least $80,000 (star). I asked a guy on the street what he thought about that – “Luckily, he exudes enough gas from his mouth to run it”, he said. Oooh.

RUMORS ARE FLYING: They say the satellite Radio Station that hired Stern – may be heading for financial trouble. Seems that they banked on the Stern announcement to get more subscribers to their station. They got some action – but not what they expected, they say.

The Union Square Association is a Square bunch. They did nothing to stop a Walgreen’s from tarnishing the Union Square Area by soiling the used to be eloquent Sutter Street that was once compared to Michigan Blvd. In Chicago. Now they have chased Grade Schoolers from the Big Nintendo Game in front of Macy’s for singing xmas Carols without a permit. Where are all the permits for the people that pee on the place at nite? Buzzin has a permit for the Grinches that stole Xmas – it’s a “Permit” to leave town.

QUOTE OF THE SEASON: MSNBC’s Anderson Cooper (Whose mother is Gloria Vanderbilt), sez “Fame starts to lick at you and moisten you and soften you, and it’s very appealing.” (star). Well, that’s bound to work a few people up – and they won’t even need a couple of drinks.

Jake Cyllenhall’s comments about a kiss with Heath Ledger in the upcoming pix “Brokeback Mountain. “He almost broke my nose in a kissing scene. He grabs me and he slams me up against the wall and kisses me. I got the sh+t beaten out of me.”(star). Bill Tompkins sez: “Good – he deserved it”.

The Latest trend among the people always in the news are White Expensive Cars”. Why White? Who knows – maybe it makes them feel more virginal!

They also say that this is in for the Holidays. Scratch ‘n Sniff cards ($8 for a set of two, fredflare.com. Gene Roberts sez: “At that price, I’ll just pour some scents on my own cards that cost me a $ 1.99 for a box of 25.”

MAYBE HE SHOULD CHANGE UNDIES! Alexander star Colin Ferrell sez he wore “Lucky Undies in 7 films.” ” I think the undies, judging by Alexander are now just sh+t out of luck” – sez reader John Wallman.


Tips? I will roast your Chestnuts for a humorous one liner that you’ve heard on the street, in an Elevator/bus or train. buzztatler@aol.com.

Buzzin’ Lee Hartgrave

Buzzin’ Lee Hartgrave is a longtime theater critic in the San Francisco Bay Area. His reviews appear each Friday in Beyond Chron.

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